
Every woman in business needs a third space—a break from both work and home life. It’s a space where you can rest, breathe, and feel like yourself again. In this post, I’ll share what a third space is, why it matters for women who lead, and how it can help you avoid burnout and feel more like the person God made you to be.
Let me ask you something, friend: where do you go when you’re the one everyone comes to?
If you’re anything like the women I serve through Her Faith at Work, you’re the strong one. The strategist. And the problem-solver. The leader, the mom, the mentor. You’re the one they text when things hit the fan—because they know you’ll show up. And you do. Because that’s who you are.
But can I gently ask… what happens when you need a minute?
Today I want to talk about something God has been pressing on my heart—a sacred, often overlooked space that every woman in leadership needs. I call it the Third Space.
What Is a Third Space (and Why You Desperately Need One)?
The idea of a “third space” comes from sociologist Ray Oldenburg. It refers to a space that isn’t your home (first place) or work (second place), but somewhere else entirely. A coffee shop. A park bench. A retreat. A moment of stillness in your car before the chaos begins again.
But I believe the Third Space is more than a physical location. It’s emotional and spiritual real estate. It’s where you’re not needed, not performing, not planning your next big launch. It’s where you get to be held.
As women in business—especially faith-driven women—we’ve often equated leadership with invincibility. We carry the weight of success, expectations, ministry, and motherhood all at once. We like being strong. And we like being needed.
But strength without rest is unsustainable. And leadership doesn’t mean we stop needing care. It means we have to fight harder to receive it.
My Wake-Up Call: When I Couldn’t Fake Fine Anymore
A few years ago, I found myself emotionally spent. My mother had passed away, and I had poured myself back into work too quickly. On a walk one afternoon, I stopped mid-step and thought, “Who sees me right now?”
Not my brand. Or my business. Just me.
That question led me to a retreat I couldn’t afford (but couldn’t afford to miss). God told me to go early—just me, my Bible, and a pair of fuzzy socks. That space healed things in me I didn’t even know were broken. And in that stillness, I heard Him say: “You’ve been carrying what I never asked you to hold alone.”
That moment changed everything. It’s why I now fiercely protect my own Third Space—and why I encourage other women to do the same.
Why Rest Isn’t Selfish, It’s Strategic
If you’re a purpose-driven woman, you probably wrestle with rest. I get it. But here’s the truth: creating space for yourself doesn’t make you selfish. It makes your mission sustainable.
Jesus modeled this for us again and again. He withdrew to lonely places. Not to avoid responsibility—but to steward His purpose. And if He needed it, so do we.
In her book, Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg once said, “Leadership is not about climbing alone. It’s about lifting others without losing yourself in the process.” But how can you lift anyone if you’re constantly leading from exhaustion?
How to Find Your Own Third Space
Let’s get practical. Your Third Space doesn’t have to be dramatic or expensive. It just needs to be intentional.
- Take an hour at a coffee shop—without your laptop.
- Go on a morning walk and let God be the only voice you hear.
- Set aside 15 minutes this week to be fully honest with yourself and with Him.
- Connect with a friend who sees the real you—and won’t let you fake it.
Start small. Start messy. Just start.
The Third Space Retreat: Your Invitation to Breathe Again
Earlier this year, the Lord gave me a vision of a long table filled with beautiful fruit. I knew He was calling me to gather women—in real life—not just online. That’s why I created the Third Space Retreat, happening January 2025.
This retreat is for the women who lead, serve, and pour out daily—but need to be reminded they are worthy of being poured into. It’s a space to breathe, be held, and let God refill you from the inside out.
Learn more and grab your spot at jantouchberry.com/thirdspace.
You Can’t Pour From Empty. But You Can Start Refilling Today.
Friend, I know what it feels like to be dry. To be needed by everyone but unseen by yourself. Please hear me: God doesn’t need your hustle. He wants your heart. And your clients, your calling, your community? They need you whole, not hollow.
You are worthy of rest. You’re worthy of care. And your Third Space might be the exact place where God whispers, “You don’t have to carry this alone.”
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